Thursday, October 9, 2008

Mistaken

I walked along a broken path, an alley in the city;
The chronic ache of shattered glass and gray, impoverished pity.
The guilt I held within my heart grew sharp, and so I shuddered.
My hands did shake as I recalled, and so I softly muttered,

"I never held a soul in need, as shelter through the storm.
I never cared for noble deed, or kept the poor man warm.
I tossed aside the good of all and hid what wealth I held
From hands whose desperate hunger called and thirst for salvation swelled."

I trembled still, though lightly now, as an obscure man passed by.
I thought to smile, but knew not how: I found no reason why.
With pinpricked arms and bloodshot eyes, he slowly turned around.
"Leigh?", he asked with hesitance, a stunning, hopeful sound.

"Is that you?" he cried aloud; compassion spilled towards me.
"It's James from school," he called, and how I wished that I was Leigh.
I'll never know what compelled me, or if that night was fate,
But an unseen force had driven me, for sense arrived too late.

"Yes, I do remember you, though several years have passed.
I thought we'd never meet again," I replied with haste at last.
I felt a churning in my core and realized what I'd said.
I felt a guilt like none before, but James did smile instead.

"Look how you changed! You quit the stuff," said he with genuine joy.
Beneath his tough and unkempt scruff, I saw an honest boy.
"I feel content with my own life, now that I've seen your smile.
worth more than cash, material things, and riches by the pile. 

I walked away from him that night, speechless but so changed;
A breath of air within the smog of new life, sad and strange.
Though James spoke to someone else, a girl he once had loved,
The Leigh in me had sanctioned this as skies did clear above.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

In Cauda Venenum

A treaty signed, and burned at last,
In cruel portrayals of winters past.
I shuddered whilst I raised the mast:
My flag, bleached white with snow.

But cheap surrenders counter aught,
Thus laundering the tears not fought,
But welled within thy eyes, ere taught
To seek; to find; to show.

Whilst brave men die where children play,
The edge of chaos starts to fray.
Now, silence! Let us steal away:
From whence we came, we go.

But shelter not from happenstance
Thy churning, twisting cruel romance.
Forevermore, thou fathom chance
As what thou shan't bestow.

Twenty-Five to Light [Lyrical]

[Verse 1]
Ready, fire, maybe aim and try again;
We raise our glasses so much higher than our guns.
We're lying just like mirrors, and I'm done.
I'm done.

[Pre-Chorus 1]
But we're standing on the edge of something bigger than it feels.
A constellation fell just short of the sky, burning at our heels.
You're crying into my kitchen sink, but you're a thousand miles away,
And I'm not sure that we'll wake if it's this early in the day.

[Chorus]
Don't close your eyes.
Oh, please, don't close your eyes.
It's too late to sleep and we're splitting;
We're splitting at the seams.

[Verse 2]
Lights, camera, action, quiet on the set.
Sparks line the scene for this one.
The storycloser tastes so bitter, and I'm done.
But all I want is more.

[Pre-Chorus 2]
And we're standing on the edge of something so much smaller than it seems.
A constellation crashed under the sky, thus cutting short our dreams.
You're crying still into my arms, but you're a thousand miles away.
And I'm not sure that we'll wake if it's this early in the day.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Oh, you're eyes are gaining distance.
Oh, you're trying but we're so far gone.
Oh, I'm reaching for a number.
Get in line we're drifting on and on,
And on and on and on.

[Chorus x2]

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nepenthe

This fragile state of mind shall be laid to rest;

Dust to dust, as ash to ash...
All but truth shall pass
All but truth and clarity:
Only these shan't pass

Respite, O, sweet Respite
Deliver from this desperate,
Lachrymose, comatose
Exile, lacking exit

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Just Visiting [Lyrical]

[Verse 1]
I've got headaches and split ends
You've got heartbreak; we all just need to make ammends
We've got some stupid fucking problems
But a half a gallon of ice cream can almost solve them

[Pre-chorus]
We've got fourteen dollars and a bottle of pop
Won't get us too far, maybe the Lansdale trainstop
We're looking like one hell of a joke; we're trying every door
But it's okay, 'cause we're just tourists in the eye of the storm

[Chorus 1]
Remember that old A.M. DJ
And casting shadows on the silver screen?
Remember dancing at sunrise on the freeway
And photographing the RAKC scene?
We ran up South Street crying, "Freedom"
And blasting songs by the Kills and Britney Spears
We'll be the ladies starting riots
And wreaking havok at our nursing home in years
And you know that I'll always be there
And I know that you'll always break my fall
Pinky friggen swear

[Verse 2]
So we've got our flaws, but we've got each other
We broke no laws, we just stretched some others
We've got all we need and we need all we can get
And we swore on this, we swore on it
So let's get ready and get set

[Pre-chorus]

[Chorus 2]
Remember running from the cops by the thrift store
And mailing packages addressed to ourselves?
Remember getting discharged with a tied score
Of who could fit more supplement on the shelves?
We'd always get caught, get put on SIP
We'd always cry when we just felt all too alive
When we got vitals, you always told me
We'd soon be free for the rest of our lives
And you know that I'll always be there
And I know that you'll always break my fall

[Bridge]
(Instrumental), (Oh, Oh)

[Chorus 3]
Remember bowling with the senior citizens' team
And baking cupcakes for Bonehead's birthday?
Remember hitting up the Wawa with the brah-heims
And trying to reflect every cliche?
They caught us laughing, they caught us crying
They caught us singing all the words we couldn't speak
We said, "It's nothing", but we were lying
They didn't realize that HC wouldn't last just a week

And that's okay, 'cause we're just tourists in the eye of the storm
We'll be alright, 'cause we're just passing through the eyes of the storm

F.H.C. (Last December) [Lyrical]

[Verse 1]
I think about how I spent last December
And it's always on my mind
I'd pace around those white halls with white walls
They were always on my mind
I used to watch the sunrise through dull eyes to make them bright again
It never gave me enough time
I never thought I'd let them hurt me this much
They never gave me enough time

I packed my bags for just a mile away
It broke my heart to think I'd stay
To pray forgotten at their feet
I couldn't bear to hear them say, oh

[Chorus]
"You never even tried to save the life inside you
You never let them see you cry or hold you when it hurt
You always gave in first, but you were selfish, too"
Well let me tell you nothing's changed, and I'm still the same damn girl

[Verse 2]
I've hollowed out every part of me searching
For what I did to bring myself here
I realize this just isn't working
It wasn't me that brought it here
They told me that this is how I'd spend all my years
I told them that I wasn't blind
But if this is how memories feel through eyes in fear
Then I wish that I was blind

They packed my bags for a longer stay
I never guessed that this was how they'd make me pay
I prayed forgotten in the palms of their hands
It tore me up to hear them say, oh

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
They stole from me my sanity
My innocence, they tore from me
I kept time by streetlights
Those dim lights could never guide me
Days passed; I wouldn't last
There was no light as far as I could see
They took from me the one thing I believed:
That this wasn't really me

[Chorus]

I think about the coldest of Decembers
And it never leaves my mind

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Most Bitter of Ironies

A daft, young man perched on the edge
Of tracks; cold steel and dullen gray,
Bereft, but dauntless, on that ledge,
Prostrate as Fate cast Life away.
As Life retired with crimson fire
The irksome tire and stigma stained,
It did succumb to Fate's desire,
A battle lost when Hope was slain.
He leapt across the cautious stripes,
And heard discordant engines growl.
He carved through him his own Last Rites,
And soon pronounced his final bow.
"But what if one could conquer strife?",
He mused through newly-gifted eyes.
Oh, what he'd give for his own life!
But shame; the train had just arrived.

Where We Stand

I, just as you are, am but a fraction of a second in the eyes of Father Time.
I, too, am but a grain of sand slipping through the slender fingers of Mother Earth.

I am but another figure--
A superfluous pawn, if you will--
In this universe so [seemingly] massive.

But what is one more second lost;
Another soul in the blink of His eye?
And one more grain sifted through,
From the billions of Her mere handful?

We are nothing more than a species of primitive, inconsequential beings,
Striving to perfect the superficial lives we lead.

We breathe.
We eat.
We sleep.
And we repeat.

We are contented with our failures.
We are pleased with our attempts.
We are utterly shocked at our successes,
Although few and far between.

The human race has created its very own paradox.
I proceed to fall in line.

This Dream

The axis:
The precise point where our two lives
[Intertwined by chance, or by fate?]
Met.

That point, that moment,
It is the only question that remains.
And I fathom:
Would you be the answer?

Your facile tongue utters a clear reply,
A definitive tone: "Yes".
And I am overwhelmed.
Overcome.
Overjoyed.

A most discordant buzz.
The alarm.
Oh, with what has dreaded Sleep struck me now?

As I enter consciousness--
Bitter. Cold.
What is worse than a nightmare
Than the mind's most horrid, bloody phantasma?

Yet I know--
A dream of that which you yearn for most,
Of all things tangible and otherwise,
But simply cannot attain.

Life is but a dream.
THIS dream.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

A Thought On My Life Expectancy

It almost is enough to make me cry when the people around me scoff at my risk-taking. I put myself in dangerous situations. I do things I shouldn't. I lead a life of chaos. I'm numb to whatever pain it brings me, anyway. Maybe not so much numb, actually. Rather, indifferent to it. It's just another emotion to me. I live this way not because I want to be different, but because I fear losing time. Losing control. Losing everything. What's it to all of them; they've got seventy years in front of them. I, however, do not. Don't make me repeat this. Please.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hometown Dropout (Lyrical)

[Verse 1]
She said, "Count your blessings,
'Cause you don't know how much time we've got.
"Say your prayers tonight,
before you fathom but another thought."
I said, "Ma'am, please don't forget
Every night that I have slept
And dreamt of a providence that could never be,
'Cause He's not listening."
But she's not listening.

[Chorus]
The hypocrisy of a small town
Living life through each other;
You know they'll run when it all comes down,
Pointing fingers at all the others.
They say "Things'll never be the same."
I say, "You can blame one another.
Just please, don't call me out,
'Cause I won't live without a doubt."

[Verse 2]
The man in the little red house,
Who sits on his porch and smokes his cigarettes,
Says, "You'll never amount to anything,
If you live without regrets."
I said, "Sir, look how that made you.
In all your years, you've found nothing true,
But to black your lungs and flick your tongue
At innocent passersby."
But see, I can't imagine why.

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Feed me an alibi.
Defend your every line.
It all falls on deaf ears tonight.
And I know you don't remember,
But I do, yeah, I do,
All those nights we cried,
Just from feeling so alive.

[Chorus]

[Chorus 2]
I can't just fall back now,
But I see they've found the way
To escape the blame
That rifles through our everyday lives.
"I tried to let it go,
But I just thought you should know
How it feels
To stand headstrong against this war of words."

[Outro]
I said, "Today is not my day."
No, today is not my day.
Today was not my day.

A Sonnet On Verbal Disputes

When vengeance gains gravity and grudges hold strong,
Spur justice divine: that which condemned all along.
For beneath the irony and spite of their word
Lay the subtle indifference that aught had yet heard.
Through cold, endless cycles not meant to be won,
Each finger will point and asail like a gun.
As wise men lose faith and turn from the meek,
The powerful forfeit and each turn their cheek.
An eye for an eye; but what would be solved?
For all would be blind, and all hopes dissolved!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Strategò

If rivals of foes prove friends of mine,
Doth thee suppose I shall favor thine?
For lest we forget all lost proverbs of yore,
We shan't dismiss what's to settle this score.

Based On a True Story

Accost the poor girl with the evicted heart
We have known your intentions from your entrance, the start
If the labor of courtship could summon such plight,
Let it be tonight

The man, but a boy, smug with self-proposed right
The girl, the bleached hair, and the past-provoked spite
The cheap, battered bar with the broken neon light
Only for tonight

Her glazed stare would sweep through the dim-lighted space
Her gamut of demons ran lines across her face
Towards her bloodshot eyes, so deprived of their light,
That glowed just last night

A series of pinpricks at the bend of his arm
Shot a poison through his veins to manifest such a harm
With a ruthless ambition and no end in sight,
He set out on that night

The illusion of desire with the coldest intentions
A nudge or a whisper of the falsest affection
Biting her lip, she now begs for attention
“Just this one night…”

But now jolted to sense by the sounds of alarms
She slit her eyes to glimpse the backseat of a car
Her mouth fell open, but mute, she wondered, contrite,
“What have I done tonight?”

Now aware of her panic, he reared his calloused hand
With a brilliant, blunt bruising, she acquiesced to his demand
Through the stinging, salty tears, glistened all the flashing lights
“Will I make it through this night?”

Though it would not be the first time, it would be the last,
She would exhibit such innocence through the spells that she cast
For the young man caught on, as her soul did alight
That bitter, portentous night